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Foolhardy & Frantic

Desperate times call for desperate measures…that is a saying that I have heard many times in my life. Hell, that’s a saying that has guided me many times in life. From being a preteen to currently being in my 30s. I have found myself in situations where the only option is something that is outside of my standards. How do I handle these types of situations? How I handled them in my teens and 20s, is different than how I handle them in my 30s.

In my teens and 20s, I didn’t take the time to think of consequences as much as I should have. Most times, I saw a situation…I saw an option…would the situation badly affect me? Then most times I would think of a cover up plan. Otherwise, if it wouldn’t badly affect me…I proceeded forward without a care in the world. Most times it worked in my favor. Of course, there were times where it clearly didn’t end in my favor.

Being in my 30s, my standards are important. It’s an 80/20 split for me now when I’m in desperate situations. 80% of the times, I just trust God and go on with my day. My faith has been shaky most of my life. In my 30s, it is the #1 thing that has kept me sane. 20% of the time I am weakened by the feeling of desperation. I HATE it. At times it causes me to be afraid of myself. I go the wrong way. I end up asking God for forgiveness and hope that he gets me out of the situation without my world crumbling. I have tainted relationships. In some situations, I have destroyed relationships. There are relationships that I’ve had to acknowledge and live with the fact of knowing that although an intent wasn’t negative…the decision and outcome was, and it negatively affected someone or a group of people.

For the sake of transparency and relatability, let me share some of the desperate situations that I’ve experienced over the 30+ years that I’ve been on this earth? Health issues, medical bills, hungry, various financial hardships, suicidal ideations, revenge, loneliness, ignoring my self-worth, and more.

Sometimes when we are in a desperate situation, we may not have the money; our friends and family may have failed us, and the experts who could help us may have given up on us. However, even under such desperate circumstances; the only thing that you can hang onto is your faith in God or whoever/whatever you believe in.

It seems like we get into desperate situations because the choices that we have to make to get out of them seem equally scary or unpleasant. I’m desperate to get a better job but the thought of working harder, facing interviews, or going back to school seems just as bad. I’m desperate to be in a relationship but the thought of asking someone out, being vulnerable, or possibly facing rejection seems worse. The fear of the unknown begins to outweigh the pain of the known. My situation is lousy but, hey, maybe it’s better than the unknown alternative. I hate my job, but if I leave it, maybe my next job will be worse.

It may be that the fear of the unknown or the uncomfortable actions that you’re trying to avoid are causing you to ignore your desperation. If your desperation doesn’t exist, then you don’t have to do any of those unpleasant things. You tell yourself that it doesn’t really bother you that your spouse treats you badly, so that you don’t have to face leaving or working on it. You fool yourself into thinking that you’re happy to be watching T.V. every night so that you don’t have to learn to be more social. Unfortunately, denial only works for so long and then you’re faced with the problem and the feeling of desperation again. Turn up the volume so that you hear clearly what it is that’s important to you. There’s no reason to despair. Where there is life there is hope.

When things are desperate, there is no need to pretend that everything is beautiful.

Tenzin Gyatso

Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.

Douglas Horton

Desperation is often more powerful than inspiration.

Debasish Mridha

Sometimes that’s all life is... One desperate act after another.

Terry Goodkind

Beware of desperate steps; the darkest day, lived till tomorrow, will have passed away.

William Cowper

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