You glance at me from across the room
It tells me your life’s story
Bonding over faith and tribulations
I’m entranced by you
You feel it too…
Rather over a NBA game or a Broadway play
We speak a language only we understand
Yet while saying nothing…
I’m caught in a daze
An intellectual high
Spasms of knowledge
Marcus Garvey to Obama
Slavery, Bus boycotts, George Floyd, Russia vs. Ukraine
Housewives, Power, Sportscenter, 911
You’ve experientially taken me on a ride
Soothing me without a touch
A journey, yet not moving
You learn that I love to exhale…we close our eyes
I taste the fire
From up close to 10 feet apart
All senses savored
This feeling we succumb to
My inner me
Connects to our inner be
It has captured us…
Its name is…intimacy!
You’ve probably heard of intimacy in the context of sex and romance. For example, people sometimes use the term “being intimate” to mean sexual activity. But intimacy isn’t another word for sex. You can have intimacy without sex, and sex without intimacy.
Intimacy vs. sex…….The two are widely considered synonymous. Intercourse is about as close as possible to another human that we can physically get. There are 5 types of intimacy; 4 of them that do not include sex or touching. However, they are just as impactful, if not more, to a relationship. These types of intimacy are:
Emotional – this allows you to tell your loved one personal things that you might not necessarily share with strangers. Think of it as letting your guard down…the ability to tell your loved one something without being judged.
Intellectual – this involves getting to know how another person’s mind works and sharing the map to your mind too. It builds as you exchange ideas and have meaningful conversations…ex: staying up all night talking to someone and feeling that “spark” of a connection.
Physical – touch or closeness between bodies…ex: kissing, cuddling, holding hands, or sex You do not have to be sexual or romantic to have physical intimacy
Experiential – this occurs by spending quality time with someone growing closer over common interests or activities, i.e. attending a concert or nba game, watching tv, or playing monopoly/some game
Spiritual – bonding over common values and ethics and/or the same wavelength as far as religion
A person won’t wake up one day and say, “We’re intimate…Mission accomplished.” Intimacy is something where, over time, you consistently cultivate its quality.
The more time spent sharing feelings, emotions, and experiences – the more aspects are present that’ll aid you in building intimacy. Any type of intimacy, comes down to certain key factors. Those factors are trust, acceptance, honesty, safety, compassion, affection, and communication.
Healthy relationships involve relating on multiple levels, not just physical. Learning to engage in open, truthful communication, as well as working to understand your partner, will help establish the intangible feeling of closeness that will strengthen your love life. Intimacy can be vital to maintaining a healthy social life. If you avoid intimacy, you may find yourself isolated or in constant conflict with others. When fear of intimacy disrupts a relationship, couples counseling or individual therapy may help.