Updated: May 4, 2021
Protecting your peace. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t care. I had no idea the benefits that it would have for me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. There is no blueprint for one protecting their peace. It will vary by individual. However, there is one common denominator. There is one common priority.
You must ensure that you are internally safe and protected. The moment you are not properly taken care of, internally, it will bleed out into every aspect of your external.
I thought I was some kind of superman. It was as if all that I had to give, internally, was an unlimited supply. One of my main issues was feeling like my validation and happiness was connected to the amount of people in my life or they needed from me. I blindly felt like my validation and happiness depended on what one’s opinion of me was. I was willing to sacrifice joy and peace, for what I needed. I wasn’t realizing that I was feeding, not what I needed but what was harming me…not what I needed - but what the wrong aspects of my ego wanted.
For me, protecting my peace looks like:
If it doesn’t put a smile on my face I’m not doing it or I’m not going.
If I don’t have it in me to give, I can’t pour into someone else. I mess around and be depleted and don’t have nothing to take care of myself. Most people won’t care about me being depleted, as long as I am being what they need me to be for them.
Saying no with no explanation.
Removing people out of my life or distancing myself from people that add nothing positive to my life. Their presence did nothing for my life. Therefore, their absence won’t mean a thing. Also, doing this with no explanation.
Feeding myself spiritually daily…no matter what.
If entertaining certain energies, foolishness, and/or individuals isn’t going to serve me a purpose - exit stage left and pay them dust.
On top of all the unwanted emotions you may go through when dealing with someone toxic, don’t forget that your body is feeling them as well. Those negative feelings and frustration’s cause immediate stress on the body. If you are constantly worrying and angry, your body is already on its own journey of increased heart rate, high blood pressure, anxiety and panic attacks.
No one is exempt from the aforementioned list. History, family ties, organizational affiliation, friendship, or positive memories won’t make anyone the exception. To have sustainability with this, it is my responsibility to ensure I’m consistently sticking to this. Otherwise, I’m doing a disservice to myself. Otherwise, I’m getting in my way and God’s way.
Some people are peace stealers. They always have problems, always need your help, and are always in crisis mode. They expect you to come running, to cheer them up, to keep them encouraged. And if you don’t, they make you feel guilty. You love them, but they continually dump their problems on you. Often, we encounter these energy draining sources that leave us feeling depleted, but we hesitate to directly confront the situation. If we don’t think about it too much, it couldn’t possibly hurt us. Right?
Love yourself enough to treat yourself. You don’t deserve to feel less than. You don’t have to measure up to the expectations others place on you. Love yourself enough to have standards. Sometimes, you are going to have to be the bittersweet lesson for those who do not know how to treat their blessings. Protecting your peace is crucial to living a purpose filled and empowered life. Remember to protect your peace like your life depends on it... 'cause it does.
Good human’s don’t make you feel like you don’t matter. Here’s the thing, we all have lives. We have jobs, families, goals. It’s hard to find time for things but we do. We find time for things that matter to us (read that sentence again). If you find yourself in a place where you simply feel unwanted because a person isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then note it, accept it and move forward.
Next time you come across a not so welcoming feeling in your gut, the next time you feel drained trying to explain to someone how you feel and they just don’t want to listen, next time you are upset because of something another person has done recklessly, remember…protect your peace.
Between what works for me and doing some research, I came across a list of ways that could possibly be very beneficial to aid you in protecting your peace.
Practice listening to your intuition
Cut the ties
Nourish your body
Be conscious of your thoughts
Social Media cleanse
Release toxic energies
Find a quiet space
Focus on what’s important