When relationships don’t work out or get into serious trouble, it all comes back to the human side of the equation. Something in the attempt to mix the personality, temperament, likes, dislikes, ego and more didn’t quite mesh right. This can lead to some severe emotional reactions depending on the length and nature of the conflict. Let’s be clear about this. All that goes on is about the fragile nature of the human condition and human emotions.
Falling in love is an unconscious act. It, more or less, happens to us. Meaning that it is not something that can be contrived. When we fall in love, we generally want to be with the person with whom we are in love as often as possible. We experience heightened feelings of happiness in their presence. Unless, of course they don’t feel the same way, and then it might be heightened feelings of misery and longing. When the love is returned, we experience feelings of bliss and renewed energy and creativity.
All that we go through, both good and bad, grows out of a complex and intricate attempt by two people to align the nature of who they are with one another. Once we move past the initial attraction, we embark on a journey of discovery in which we learn more and more about the other person and how they make us feel.
Being in love is different from just loving someone. In that loving someone and wanting the best for them and enjoying their company are feelings that are much less intense than those of being in love. Being in love will add that extra heightened sense of well-being that brings us to our knees before its power.
What goes wrong in relationships is not love but two humans who don’t quite mesh well enough which leads to a break in their emotional attachment. It is our emotions that cause all the problems. At no point is love ever a part of this conflict. When you see people become so emotionally distraught that they become mean and vengeful, this is a case where they have become totally disconnected from their spirit which is love. The love that is who they really are has been blocked by their own human frailty allowing their emotions to run amuck without any greater force to guide them. This may be a very difficult message for some people to hear. Severely negative, vengeful, controlling and mean actions toward someone are a clear sign a person has lost their connection to their soul. It’s just that simple.
Many have somehow come to believe that when you are in love you will be jealous. In fact, this belief is so powerful that some believe it in reverse: that if you are not jealous it must not be love.
Jealousy comes from personal insecurity. It has nothing, whatsoever, to do with whether or not you are in love.
Dr. Carol Morgan, a contributor for the Huffington Post, provided 16 characteristics of real love. I have to share these with you:
1. Love means saying goodbye to expectations
2. Love doesn’t play the victim role or blame others
3. Love includes letting go
4. Love doesn’t require you to continue a relationship
5. Love has no room for jealousy
6. Love is the absence of fear
7. Love is not needing, but wanting
8. Love is an action, not feeling
9. Love is unconditional
10. Love means putting other people’s needs equal to or before your own
11. Love is the highest vibration emotion that there is
12. Love requires attention
13. Love understands and accepts differences
14. Love varies in how it is expressed and accepted
15. Love makes you feel good, not bad
16. Love has empathy
We've been given the impression that to define love is near to impossible. Maybe there's a fear that if we define it, it would somehow be less powerful…less impactful…less exhilarating. Maybe we like the mystery of it. But is it really that complicated? Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all the stuff we add on to this powerful emotion. Even when we are false to it, Real Love is always faithful to us.