It is vastly important to ensure that you hang around the right people. You will have to let go of friends. You will have to distance yourself from relatives or completely cut them off. Some people’s only purpose may be for business or professional purposes, not personal. You have to take an inventory of yourself when you’re around or have any interactions with certain people. Do they keep up negativity and foolishness? Do they bring out the worse in you? Have they shown that you have to be guarded around them? Are the majority of your interactions with them negative? If you answered yes to any or all of the aforementioned questions, then you need to get the hell away from those individuals.
Listen, it won’t be easy! Sometimes the things that are best for us to do, aren’t easy. You will feel obligated to put up with them or keep them in your life because of your attachment or affiliation to them. DO NOT feel obligated to keep certain people in your life because of an organizational affiliation. DO NOT feel obligated to keep people in your life because ya’ll are related. DO NOT feel obligated to keep people in your life because of past memories. If they are not conducive to the person you are and striving to become….if they are not bringing any positivity into your life…then they gots to go. The people who need to be in your life will enhance it, not stress it.
It took me years to get to the point where I didn’t allow people to stress or complicate my life. It’s one thing if I do something that stresses or complicates my life; I be damn if I’m about to let others and their ignorance affect me emotionally and mentally. I’ve had to cut off relatives, I’ve had to distance myself from relatives, I’ve had to cut frat brothers out of my life, and folks that I thought were my friends had to get removed as well. Listen!!! If someone is going to be in my life in any way, they have to live up to three things that I require: #1 honesty – rather you feel it’s going to hurt me or piss me off…tell the truth. I need to be able to trust you. I can’t have someone that I have to doubt or be guarded with all the time. Or the ones that are honest only when it benefits them. #2 respect – self-explanatory. You have to respect me, because I give to others what I expect to receive. You’re not going to think you’re going to address me any kind of way or treat me any kind of way…and it’s going to be ok…the devil is a liar! You need to respect me when we’re face to face and when we’re around.
I’ve had people in my life, that to my face they’re nice, cool, and respectful. However, as soon as my back was turned….you’d think I was the trash under their shoe. If it would benefit them or aid their ignorance/mentality, they would throw me and anyone they had to under the bus. #3 consistency – I can’t stand an inconsistent person. I can’t stand someone who deals with me when it’s convenient to them. When they need something, when they in trouble, when they bored, when they’ve gotten themselves in a situation and they need me to put on my Olivia Pope hat and fix something….they can’t get enough of people, I’m damn near their favorite person. But baby as soon as I’ve served whatever purpose they had for me; I rarely see or hear from them…if at all.
One thing about me and it could partly be the Pisces in me….I have yet to cut someone out of my life and regret it. There’s a weight that is lifted and there’s a peace of mind that exhilarates me. The more I’ve grown to love myself, the more I’ve had to cut certain people out of my life. Doing so has been a liberating and powerful experience.
It is important to know that where you’re going in life, everyone can’t go with you. Some people come into our lives for the long haul and for some, for just a season. When we hold on to people who were only meant to be in our lives for a season, we end up hurting ourselves emotionally and mentally. Many times, we’ve ignored things we shouldn’t have ignored. Many times, we’ve let things slide when we shouldn’t have. Lord knows I’m guilty of both of those things in my past. I have to stop that. There were just people whose quality just wasn’t conducive to where God was taking me.
Some people can be parasites. They suck out your happiness, energy and maybe some of your tangible resources as well. You can put spending time with them in the same category as eating nachos on the couch. Good people aren’t saints, or at least they don’t have to be. They are people that will inspire you to be a better person, provide you with motivation to achieve your goals, empower you to make the changes you need to succeed and cheer on your success. It’s important to note that “good” does not mean similar. Too much of the same thing can inhibit growth. You want to have diversity and healthy arguments. You should have an eagerness to soak up knowledge, and differing perspectives can help you with that.
One of the most important decisions we make in life is who we choose to be around. In fact, there is an old proverb that reads, "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are." Quite often we become like the people we're around. Based on that, we must be cautious about whom we surround ourselves with because of the short- and long-term implications. We lean on our friends a lot. We share our successes and challenges with them. It's important these people be the ones who support and encourage us. We must find a support system of friends who will support and challenge us. Do an analysis of your circle of friends and see whether they add to your life or take away from it. Surround yourself with people who will help you reach your goals.
One big mistake people make is not realizing that happiness is an individual choice. But every choice is influenced by the people in our lives. If you change your life influencers for the better, you can dramatically increase your chances for happiness and success. We know that happiness is a choice. But we continually need to be reminded by people to make that choice, especially when life gets challenging. Think about the people you know who could be positive influencers and spend more time with someone who will improve your happiness and lead you to greater success.
I came across this site called, Smart Chic. On this site they listed something I wanted to share with you…7 Smart Reasons To Surround Yourself With High Quality People:
1. Positive energy is contagious
2. Inspiration to be your best
3. Being supported is awesome
4. You learn and grow through them
5. Stress reliever
6. Connecting with like-minded people gives you confidence
7. With quality people, the possibilities are endless