Social Media: Sex and Love’s Friend or Foe

There are dating sites everywhere. That's no secret. we see all the commercials on T.V. and ads online. The same applies to hookup sites. Heck I've used both. In my past, I've definitely had more luck with the hookup sites than I did with the dating sites. where I’m at in my life now, neither type of site gets any of my time. The companies that have created these types of sites have been led to lucrative dividends. Especially the ones where you must have a subscription to utilize the full accessibility of the site. 

Social media has taken what a lot of dating and hookup sites offer and mad it easier and more accessible.  Take for example Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram. I'd say that those are the 4 most popular social media sites. they are used for networking, communicating with friends or family, making new friends, hooking up, and dating. employees use it to consider potential candidates. Hell working in child protective services, I've used it many times to track folks down. 

I believe that social media can be a blessing and a curse. It all depends on how you choose to use it. I've seen many people meet and have prosperous relationships. Instead of going out and meeting folks in the club, grocery, store, or church; folks meet online. You meet a person in public and for different reasons you may not ask for their number up front like in olden days, but you'll dang sure go on the computer or phone and find them on Facebook or Instagram. Social media also provides an alternative to texting or FaceTiming someone. This is because a lot of social media programs allow you to not just send messages, but you can call or video chat as well. 

I have seen a lot of people get cased up...screwed in the game from social media. Why? Because they were talking to their side dude or side chick on social media. They left their phone accessible to the person they're with and they looked through their messages. They signed into someone's computer and forgot to log out, now all your business is revealed. You can be on social media under any name you want and under any picture. This has helped many people carry on double lives or have side activities that their significant other has no idea about. One thing I've seen people so, that the devil is a lie if anyone thinks I'd ever do it; that's sharing a social media account with their significant other. no hell! You have your account and I'll have mine. I don't need your password and you don't need mine. If we gotta do all that for you to feel comfortable then there's a trust issue that isn't going to be fixed by sharing a social media account. 

I've always felt that with every great thing, there's a negative component. Social media I feel can help people with relationships, first off by connecting two people. How can it hurt it? I

feel social media can definitely assist someone's sex life in being active. Mainly because you have people that just be passing their goodies through the internet. How can it hurt it?

Research has further revealed people with fewer social relationships die earlier on average than those with more social relationships. Yet with the rise of social media, there are concerns many people appear to be substituting virtual, online connections for real-life, social relationships. There is no question the Internet is an enormously popular, convenient and immediately gratifying way to connect with others. Social media sites such as Facebook cite nearly one billion users worldwide. It certainly offers us an instant audience and attention. It allows us the luxury of easily keeping in touch. It can help combat feelings of loneliness. It allows us to keep tangible markers of times and places, archived for us, and available for all to see. Studies and personal experience reveal people tend to put their best foot forward while interacting on social media. Displays of emotional weakness, insecurity, or conflicts generally tend to be concealed or minimized on social networking sites. It is often difficult, if not impossible, on social media to reveal the qualities that define deep, intimate relationships. While our social media friends offer us a great deal, it is not a true substitute or even supplement for real-life interactions with others. Online friendships, while certainly valuable in many ways, lack the ability to provide us with opportunities for deep and lasting emotional closeness.

The root of any romance today is love, but it wasn’t always so. In past cultures, people came together because their parents arranged it or they wanted to join lands or kingdoms; love was secondary. Today, love is the only thing that matters. This over-emphasis on love is encouraged by media that tells stories, sings songs and writes books about how true love conquers all, is ultimately fulfilling, brings a never-ending wealth of happiness and is rarely marred by significant conflict.

Unfaithfulness can be seen as anything from physically cheating on someone to flirting with someone excessively over text. I have seen it before, one of the individuals was unfaithful to a certain extent, because there was an inappropriate conversation over Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, etc., and the other person finds out one way or another, and it’s considered cheating. What I would like to address is how easy it is to do this without the other partner finding out. Which is why I think it increases the temptation to be emotionally unfaithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Without social media, I doubt there would be as many situations where the boyfriend or girlfriend is lying about who they talk to or who they have feelings for. There is also a lack of privacy when it comes to relationships now. It seems that everyone knows when a couple is having issues because one or both individuals’ tweets something about the other. This invite everyone to be part of our private relationships. I think this can cause complication in the relationship because it can bring up a certain pressure from outside influences. So, if we keep our private relationships well, private, then a lot of outside sources won't be affecting how you handle your situations.

Social media could make relationships both easier and more difficult. It can connect us when we are far away, or it can hinder our ability to focus on what truly matters in the relationship. Bottom line, don’t let a third party ruin your relationship. If it is causing problems try limiting your use of social media when it comes to your relationship. Keep your problems private, and don’t tweet about them, it will just lead to more issues.

I think social media causes more insecurities between couples. For example, seeing someone else in a picture with your significant other. It’s easy for jealously to arise. Also, too many distractions between couples. They pay more attention to what they don’t have instead of being grateful for what they do have. The most important thing we can give one another is our time. The one thing we can’t get back is time so be careful because life is short. Never be too proud because you will wind up losing something because of ego. People make relationships too hard now days, they worry about what others think or too many obstacles to overcome. Before the days of Facebook, Twitter, and blogs, our knowledge of people’s intimate lives was limited. Either the curtains were closed or we could only see what was on center stage.  Today, it seems that not only is the curtain always open and there’s always stage visibility, but we have a continuous backstage pass as well.   This backstage pass translates into getting updated details on what’s going on in peoples’ kitchens, bathrooms, bank accounts, and bedrooms, all the time.

Relationships are complicated and people are complicated, but there’s no disclaimer in social media reminding you that you are not seeing the real feelings and the real challenges.  Consequently, you see your friends’ lives on your timeline, compare their outsides with your insides and fear that you’re missing out on all the fun.

The increasing popularity of social networking websites such as Facebook has affected how we interact with one another, and that includes how we communicate with our romantic partners. Initiating the courting process has gone from bravely asking a person out to dinner on their doorstep to simply instant messaging the person or even liking their profile picture.

In bringing everything full circle, let’s compare the benefits of social media to the downsides:

BENEFITS:

· Social media makes new relationships more easily accessible -  It is often used for the next phase of contact after an initial face-to-face meeting. Social media sites such as Facebook makes it easier and quicker for people to filter out potential partners who spark little interest or compatibility. Rather than waiting until the third date to realize that a person is not a good match for you, Facebook instantly provides information about the potential partner’s interests and hobbies. 

· Social media allows you to integrate your social network with your partner’s - Couples can maintain satisfying relationships by being a part of each other’s social media accounts and network. Various forms of social media provide great convenience for couples to interact with each other’s social networks, making the integration of friends easier than ever.

· Social media can help you practice relationship maintenance techniques – Social media also allows people to communicate with their romantic partners easily, at a distance. One study showed that couples who portrayed positive statuses about their relationship/partner and assuring statuses that emphasize commitment to the relationship maintenance behaviors on Facebook, reported greater relationship satisfaction.

DOWNSIDES:

· On Facebook when you post your relationship status, it can raise conflict and confusion – Social media can become a source of relational confusion and distress. Typically, women feel that going official on sites such as Facebook implies exclusivity and seriousness of the relationship. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to commit to being official on Facebook to maintain the image that his significant other is taken while continuing to pursue other relationships simultaneously because a lot of us men attach less seriousness to a relationship status on Facebook.

· Social Media can be a source of jealousy and anxiety - All the information contained on Facebook can create a sense of jealousy, suspicion, and uncertainty for coupled users. Many interactions on Facebook are ambiguous, as you may not know some of your partner’s Facebook friends or the nature of those relationships.

· Too much time on social media can harm a relationship - one study found that high levels of social media usage were associated with negative relationship outcomes like cheating and break-up. Such negative outcomes are generally the result of social media related conflicts like contacting an ex-partner and constant partner monitoring. 

“There are a lot of pros and cons about social media; it's just how you choose to handle it and how you have to be prepared for the negatives as well.” ~Aubrey Peeples