Pause…look at yourself…think…exhale! Let’s re-examine. Let’s try and look at it from a different perspective. The white flag is looking really attractive right now and/or it has many times before. You get closer and closer. Drugs, weapons, vehicle, jail, homeless, demotivated are all diverse vessels able and willing to get you closer to that white flag. Something got in the way. You don’t feel like it was anything you did. Is a past prayer being answered? Is it finally your turn for a miracle? Before you knew it…you exhaled – looked around…you done made it through!
Trauma has piled up! You’ve lost a lot of people and things that you’ve loved. You don’t trust. The negative experiences swarm about you like a beehive – you’re trapped. Hungry, hopeless, lonely, broke…entranced by trauma. Joy is forgotten and taboo. You no longer recognize the person in the mirror. Guilt and re-infected wounds have you at the edge of the cliff with dangling feet. Something shifted! So numb and detached from life, you missed it. You don’t feel like it was anything you did. Ancestor’s prayers? Maybe. Unexpected good Samaritan or karma paying you some of what you’re owed? Possibly. Before you knew it…you exhaled – looked around…you done made it through!
God has pissed you off. Resentment with him, you, and life just exudes from every fiber of your being. You dread waking up. You dread sleeping. A life that has left you broken, battered, and shattered awaits you. When will it end? When will wounds start to heal and pieces slowly reconnected? When will your heart smile again? You walk around anxious and agitated, waiting for the next negative thing that is going to happen to you. That’s become your new normal. That’s become the most consistent thing in your life; occurring weekly, like the release of your favorite show’s new episode. Something is different. Like a week off during NFL season, is this your bye week? Has the hem of his garment been touched? Has light illuminated your dark places? Before you knew it…you exhaled – looked around…you done made it through!
He, she, they disappointed you…betrayed you and hurt you. You were loyal when it wasn’t deserved. You covered for ‘em when they didn’t deserve it. You upheld, turned the other cheek, loved without conditions, revolved your life around them, put them first, and many chances were given - unappreciated. You did all of this knowingly and willingly, knowing the whole while ties needed to be severed. Heartbroken more, trust extensively damaged, self-worth tainted, self-validation lost, and the whole while hiding it all inside. Embarrassed? Mad at yourself? Both? Transition and evolution is busy and has taken you on a ride. You remember pride and joy. You remember confidence. You’ve been re-introduced to you! You were defeated! Passion and joy ceased. You don’t know how or when it occurred. Was it support from an unexpected friend? Was it the essence of your foundation re-connecting? Was it your journey back to basics? Because…look…one day soon this will be one of my testimonies… before you knew it…you exhaled – looked around…you done made it through!