top of page

Can You, Can I: Long Distance Relationships


Out of sight out of mind? Or does this really depend on how much you love that person, enough to think of them even when they are not there? Or just enough to love them when they are? It depends of what type of long distance relationship you are in; prolonged separation for example one of you going travelling is very different to living far apart from each other but still being able to see each other.  


Having someone you love to be there for you when you need them most is important and when you don’t have that, it’s hard to not look elsewhere for someone else to give you that type of affection. Words only mean so much and sometimes even just one hug could do so much more for you. Being in a long distance relationship makes you realize that you have to be strong, of course you have your friends out there who you can rely on but sometimes it just doesn’t compare to the one you love. It can be tempting to fall into someone else’s arms for just one night but that one night could ruin your whole relationship. You must build up strength to do without until you next see them or until you can next talk to them.


Happiness in relations, ability to love and to be loved, positive emotions, brought by these relations are the key moving factors in everybody’s life. Even if some of us do not admit it, we are all looking for close relations, for happiness in love, for spiritual and moral satisfaction. However, the butterflies in the stomach, the nervous waiting for his or her phone call, even mutual interest and deep feelings do not guarantee that the happiness would last forever. The main problem is that any relationship needs huge investments. It needs investments of trust, support understanding, time, effort, and so on. The situation is sometimes getting harder, when two individuals are not living in the same town or even country.


Long time ago, people could build romantic relationships only inside their location. Only the invention of various types of transportation and communication made long-distance romance possible. On the one hand, the brightest horizons are open for partners. On the other hand, several questions and problems arise: does such kind of relationship have any future? Is my partner really sincere and devoted? Is it worth all those waiting and travelling? And so on. It is not easy to answer all these questions unambiguously, however we will look for the arguments, proving, that couples, which are bond by long-distance romantic relationship have all the best chances to develop a serious, strong, perspective relations, by working harder on building mutual trust, care, love and commitment.


A long distance relationship among couples especially with a spouse who is in the military is sometimes difficult and maintaining the relationship or the marriage can be very straining. There are so many setbacks and hard times that are witnessed in the process of making such relationships work-out. It is not simple to maintain the long relationship. The couple misses the close touch that exists between the partners and sometimes they miss each other extremely. Such partners are obliged to work together and devise techniques and ways that will make the relationship stand the test of time.


Long distance relationships can be painful, but they don't have to be. Long distance relationships are hard on the heart, hard on the soul, and hard on the self. Many men and women meet in places that neither of the two will ever visit again, such as cruises, vacations, and visiting far-away relatives for long periods of time. These chance meetings sometimes spark flames in the hearts of the romantic, which will eventually be ended by the inevitable parting of ways. Many times, the quick fling will be ended sadly yet efficiently and both people will seek out love where love is closer to home.


Sometimes the passion, the love, and even the lust is so great that continuing some form of a relationship is the only logical step that the couple can think of. The final time together, before the unwanted separation, is usually a sad time of final hugs and kisses. This time usually fills the couple’s heart with pain, because they know this could possibly be the last time they can look into each other's eyes, the last time they can taste each other's lips, and the last time they can hold each other close. Continuing the relationship has its own heartaches. Waiting for the first sign of correspondence is a long and frustrating wait. The first telephone call is an aggravating wait, wondering if the other person really wants to call, if the other person has another lover, or if the other person has the correct phone number. After the first contact is made, there is usually a period that will determine if the couple wants to continue the whole relationship.


Long-distance may offer a good opportunity to the partners to develop individual-relationships which are deemed paramount in enhancing love and creativity in marriage-life. For example, several months that an individual spends away from their partners can be more beneficial if the concerned spouses translate this moment into a positive-activity oriented session. It's only through creativity and positive self-reflection that a long-distance relation works through trials and undying challenges. Such positive activities may involve a search for new hobby, artistic undertakings such as poetry or painting that can be used in communicating love messages to loved ones far away. In fact, such an undertaking offers an opportunity for individual growth in the relationship.


Opponents of long-distance relations usually underline the problem of feeling of loneliness. On the one hand a person is involved into relationship, on the other hand, his or her close person is not constantly nearby and as a result the feeling of anxiety, frustration is putting a great pressure. There are a lot of local relationships, in which people experience all the same things, for example because of work one or both partners should travel a lot, or in most military families, where men are to follow the orders, they receive and often cannot spend as much time with their families, as they would like to. The problem is the same. Thus, the solution is also alike, not to put your life on hold. It means, that a person should not concentrate on his feeling of loneliness, should stop feeling pity and sorry about himself and the situation, rather on the contrary, should do the things, which are interesting to him or to her, which would bring satisfaction, which would contribute to their personal, spiritual, intellectual, physical development.


A hobby or a combination of hobby and work would be the best variants. Under no circumstances should a person remain in isolation from family members, from friends and

colleagues. All these kinds of social ties can make an important contribution to avoiding the atmosphere of loneliness or abandonment. Besides, successful and self-sufficient individuals are much more attractive to their partners, than depressed and unhappy ones.

It is not a secret, that there is a huge amount of couples, suffering or even losing their relationships because of jealousy. The temperament of everyone might be absolutely different from the partner’s. Somebody would not even react on a late telephone call, the partner receives, and other person would have to know for sure who is calling and why, to be convinced, that there is no betraying. For a jealous person, the long distance would only worsen the situation, as there is no chance to keep all the things under constant control and observation; as a result, bad pictures are drawn in the consciousness and thoughts.


In most cases luckily, the situations appearing in people’s minds are far from reality, whereas nothing bad is happening. Thus, for those jealous individuals, who really are inclined to continue the relationship, not spoiling it with groundless suspicions and quarrels, it is necessary to make order in their brain and souls, irrespective of the actual distance from the partner, because constant jealousy is able to destroy the deepest feeling and the closest attachment.


Now, when we seem to have discussed all the possible negative things, which are able to ruin the relationships, both usual and long-distance, we should briefly mention the things, which are able to contribute to positive development of the relations. Even if you are far from your partner, fortunately this doesn’t mean that there is little chance to communicate more often and to make nice unexpected surprises. A bunch of flowers in the morning or after a hard-working day, even if it was sent in an attachment to your email, can brighten the day for your beloved woman. A mobile message, sent during the busy day, can relax, if there are words of love and care inside. Certainly, these are only some examples, there is a great number of things, which could be done to keep the romance alive.


“The longer you wait for something. The more you can appreciate it when you get it. Because anything worth having is always worth the wait.” ~Unknown


Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page